Hearse Girls Episode 2: Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Twilight

Welcome to Jenna and Alex's epic vampire journey through the coffins of friendship, the spooky castles of nostalgia, ve vant to drink your bluud Tim ah ah ah! Ok so this isn't Horse Girls per se.... but it IS Hearse Girls!!

Thanks to Emily Swan telling us she needs to know what team Tim is on we decided to gift you with part 2! Where Tim loves ballet! Or something... Also Kaycie is back! We haven't scared her away even though she can see from our skin that we're killers!

Find out! If you like this ep consider hitting us up at patreon.com/horsegirls

Summer Reading Club Episode 2: The Neightrix

Quick question for you. Did you say 'warsh'? Do you say 'warsh'? Will you say 'warsh'? When will you say 'warsh'? Anyways, we ask the hard hitting horse questions like is warsh a common phrase? Where does it come from? Who still says it? Also we talk about the Boyd Martin story in this one.

New episode every other Wednesday!

Summer Reading Club Episode 1: Anihorse Anonymous

We are back with a new book series! The Saddle Club! Guess who the Stevie of our group is? Guess who's the first to have a meltdown this series? Guess what a soda crop is? No Tim you CANNOT guess. Because you were ON the episode TIM. That would be cheating! I don't think Jenna would count this towards the Super Amazing Not At All Mediocre EPIC Horse Quiz Game Show.

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 26: Carry On My Wayward Swan with Special Guest Emily Swan

Hey you guys know Emily Swan, you know the genius artist behind the Jenna's Super Amazing (Not at all Mediocre) EPIC Horse Quiz Game Show shirt?? That Emily is ON THIS EPISODE! Want to hear something even cooler? Emily is a real equestrian!! We didn't even need to convert her! All this to say clearly you need to listen to this episode STAT. Come find out about her beautiful horses and incredible art and oh yeah we also read the classic tale of Black Beauty!

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 25: The Way We Trot Now with Special Guest Dr. Courtney Floyd

We have really done it this time. We have a REAL DOCTOR! DR. Courtney Floyd who came in here and just really nailed the show harder than we ever have. Let's get to the most important thing though. Dr. Courtney has ducks. DUCKS! Like... quack quack ducks. But wait there's more. They are friends WITH HER DOG. I know RIGHT?! Oh anyways there were horses. I guess. Probably. Maybe Amy. I don't even care anymore think about the ducks.

Horse Girls First Anniversary!

On this episode we talk about one FULL YEAR of Horse Girls. Have we accomplished our goals? Surprisingly we actually have completed some of them. Join us as we discuss a full year of turning Tim into a full-fledged Horse Girl and the wild ride that has been creating this podcast. Jokes leave the room- this has been a true adventure and an absolute joy to create.

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 24: The First Foël with Special Guest Willa

On this episode we are joined by Willa! The world renowned voice of *REDACTED* for a beautiful episode of Horse Girls where it is Christmas and no one is sad and definitely no one or nothing dies and Sugarfoot for sure 100% does not wear the skin of another creature as a disguise. No Tim for the last time we CANNOT REAVEAL THAT WILLA IS THE VOICE OF TEXT MESSAGE THEATRE!

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 23: Land Before Grine with Special Guest Chris Grine

On this episode none other than Chris Grine joins in on our horseplay! We discuss the BIG THING that happened. That's right. The greatest drama our podcast has ever known. How DOES one pronounce Tucson? TIM. HOW DO THEY? This is somehow on you... Oh right and there's a breakup or something.

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 22: The Emperor’s New Hooves with Special Guest HeWhoIsSteve

On this episode Steve joins our ranks to bring us to the cutting edge of horse medicine with spiders! Lots and lots of spiders! Like... a metric ton spiders! Oh sorry, I messed that all up. It was definitely just the web. I don't see how this is Tim's fault but between us Horse Girls let's blame him anyways.

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 21: The Dressage Parlor with Special Guest Mike Haines

On this episode Mike joins our ranks to create the four horse girls of the apocalypse! It warms out hjearts when he joins in our hjorseplaj. Your fanfiction will live in infamy and all who come after you will quake at the legacy you have left behind, immortalized in podcast history!

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 20: The Summer of Big Equine

Horse Girls is conducting a survey for all of you listeners. No, this definitely won't help us with advertising but it will help us probably:

1. Do you sweep your yard?

2. If you have one do you consider the walkway to your house part of your yard?

3. If you have one do you consider the sidewalk part of your yard?

4. Have you considered the entire world is yard?

New episode every other Wednesday!

Episode 19: Hold Me Closer Pony Danza

On this episode don't tell Tim but Jenna and I redrew the infomercial turtle and submitted it and now Tim is going to art school. I can't wait to walk in and tell him that he's moving across the country, he is going to be like SO pumped! OMG we should totally tell him at the party in front of everyone, that will be SO super special.

New episode every other Wednesday!

Hearse Girls Episode 1: Come On Baby Twilight My Fire

Welcome to Jenna and Alex's epic vampire journey through the coffins of friendship, the spooky castles of nostalgia, ve vant to drink your bluud Tim ah ah ah! Ok so this isn't Horse Girls per se.... but it IS Hearse Girls!!

On this very special episode we let you take a peek into what you expect to be a spooky haunted basement but that is actually a very nice and aesthetically pleasing house which is our Patreon. We bit Kaycie and turned her into one of us as we take Tim through the Twilight Saga. Will he be Team Edward or Team Jacob? Find out! If you like this ep consider hitting us up at patreon.com/horsegirls where episode 2 has already dropped from the ceiling like a spooky bat!

Episode 18: The More the Farrier

On this episode Amy says, on page 84 that this is not about her. I know this is my space to talk about Tim, but just this once- PRAISE JENNA! Jenna has taught Amy what she really needs to know- IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU! I mean we really can't even talk about Tim because he was missing part of his book I am pretty sure. He had a weird amount of pages.

Episode 17: Jodhper-son of Interest

On this episode there's rescue horses and Tim is going to name them all. He is going to name them all BIG THICK MARTINGALE. And for once, I AGREE! TELL EM TIM WE GOTTA NAME EM ALL BIG THICK MARTINGALE! WHAT THE HECK IS SPINDLEBERRY? Also you know what... he has a great point about Soraya too... this is unprecedented and definitely not hinging on feeling bad for bullying Tim in the past. For sure. Like totally.

Women’s Day: QuestMaster the Guild of Granddaughters

We interrupt Jenna and Alex's epic equestrian journey through the trails, pastures, and rings of nostalgia as they attempt to turn Tim into a full-fledged Horse Girl to bring you a tale of trial and tribulations! 

 

Join the Quest Master, Jenna and her trusty assistant, Little Alex as they usher a group of chosen ones through a series of quests to test their mettle and try their might!

This game was played on International Women's Day and raised money to benefit LGBTQ+ youth in need through The Trevor Project. If you want to donate you can do so throughout the entire month of March HERE!

Thanks again to all the guests that joined!   
Alex (@quidproroll, Twitter: @quidroll or @alphacomicgames, Instagram: @qprpodcast)
Cate (@catieosaurus everywhere)
ChelseaBytes (@ChelseaBytes everywhere)
Em Swan (@aSwanNamedEmily everywhere)
Steph Crugnola (Twitter @crugglez / Twitch @srsbiz_network / Tiktok: @p2mpod)

And your personal HorseGirls:
QuestMaster Jenna (Twitter @JenChil / Insta @JennaChil) from the Botched Podcast
QuestMasters Assistant Little Alex (@alexandbirds) of the Dungeons and Dracon Beams podcast

Controlled Chaos by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3547-controlled-chaos License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Episode 15: For Better or Horse

Come along and ride with us as Amy goes to Australia... oh right no sorry Lou and Scott go to Australia and Amy tags along! Welcome to the very 90s tm tm Australia episode in that it takes place in Australia and not so much in the way where there are boomerangs and kangaroos. NO, TIM, DON'T TRY TO LOOK IN THE POUCH! TIM NO! YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR BOOMERANG IN THERE!

Episode 14: It Takes Two to Mustango

Come along and ride with us as we learn about the very mystical world of mustangs! And comas! Just off pod Tim did agree that if ever he were in a coma and woke up Jenna and Alex could fight over who gently squeezed soft foods into his mouth so we have that to look forward to. YES TIM YOU DID AGREE TO THAT! CHECK THE TEXTS! OMG, IT'S CTRL +F!

Episode 13: The Neigh After Tomorrow

Come along and ride with us as we take a very real deep dive into quarantine. Something none of us know anything about at all. More importantly we describe to you in great detail out new jousting tournament and THE CUP! Which I will win from Tim, it will be a most glorious victory and Tim will rue the day he met me! RUE THE DAY!